


Never Have I Ever

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Drug Use, Explicit Language, Post-War, Romance, The Quidditch Pitch: Eternity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-30
Updated: 2008-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-26 13:31:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10787655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: The Gryffindor boys play a drinking game and some very surprising secrets are revealed. (Ron/Harry)





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).
> 
> **Author's notes:**
> 
> There are lots of variations of the game mentioned. I’ve used the one I’m most familiar with.   
>   
> Thank you to [IamShadow](viewuser.php?uid=11775) for the pre-beta. She is responsible for Seamus' ~~announcement~~ confession!

The five of us sat sprawled across the living room.   
  
Neville was lying on one couch. Dean sat on the floor, slouched against the front of it. His head was tilted back, resting on the seat, and his eyes were closed. Harry and I were stretched across the other sofa; Harry sitting at one end as I lay across it with my feet in his lap.   
  
Seamus sat in the armchair between us, his head turning rapidly from one pair to the other.  
  
“Alright, who’s up for a drinking game?” he asked enthusiastically, making us all flinch after such a long period of complete silence. “This party’s dead as a dodo.”  
  
“I wasn’t aware that it was supposed to be a party,” Harry answered, drowsily.  
  
“Whatever it is, you’re all falling asleep!” he said, gesturing wildly at us. “We need do something!”  
  
“What did you have in mind?” Neville asked, yawning. He sat up straighter, and rubbed his hands across his face in an effort to shake off his drowsiness.   
  
“Never Have I Ever.”  
  
Dean lifted his head and eyed his best friend suspiciously.   
  
“What do we have to do?”   
  
“We sit in a circle and take turns to think of something that we have never done.” He wiggled his eyebrows a little for effect. “For example… ‘Never have I ever kissed more than one person in a night’.”   
  
We all scoffed at this.  
  
“You’ve done that loads of times,” Dean laughed.  
  
“It was just an example!” Seamus huffed. “Anyway… anyone in the circle who has done that thing has to drink up, and then tell us all about it. So, it’s best if you try and choose something that you know others have done, because then you force them to get pissed and tell you the details. The more pissed we all get, the more adventurous we become.”  
  
“I don’t know…” Harry began, but I cut him off.  
  
“Aw, come on. Seamus is right, it’s only…” I paused to check my watch, “ten thirty, and we’re dropping like flies.”  
  
“Okay, fine.” Harry said, reluctantly.   
  
We all moved to the floor where we could sit in a circle with a large bottle of Firewhiskey and a set of shot-glasses in the centre.   
  
“And there’s no point in lying, boys, ruins the whole game. Don’t be a bunch of pussies. I’ll go first,” Seamus told them confidently. “Okay, never have I ever… smoked pot.”  
  
“Smoked what?” I asked, as Dean lifted his glass to his lips and downed the shot.   
  
“It’s a Muggle drug,” Harry told me whilst Seamus rolled his eyes. I nodded as if to say ‘I knew that’.  
  
To everybody’s surprise, Neville picked up his own shot hesitantly and knocked it back. Eyes went wide, and mouths fell open.  
  
“You’ve done drugs?” I asked disbelievingly.   
  
“It’s a plant!” Neville said defensively. “I’m a herbologist! It comes from the _Cannabis sativa_ and is used therapeutically as well as recreationally. Advances in breeding and cultivation since the late 1960’s have increased the potency…”  
  
“Nev, we don’t want to know all of that shit! It isn’t exactly going to help to perk up this party, is it?” Seamus chuckled and shook his head. “You’ve shocked us there though, mate. What happened to the little fat kid who didn’t like to break the rules, eh?” Neville looked a little hurt, and Dean slapped Seamus on the arm.   
  
“Honestly, Shay!” He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Ah, he knows I’m only joking, don’t you, mate?”  
  
“Yeah, I know.” Neville smiled. “So, who’s next?”  
  
The game continued for a good twenty minutes or so. Some very shocking (and somewhat disturbing) secrets were revealed about the people I thought I knew better than anyone else.   
  
Apparently, Seamus had made it his mission to get his best friend well and truly plastered, and his every turn concluded in forcing Dean to take another measure of whiskey. Dean wasn’t impressed and he took it upon himself to even the score whenever he got a chance. This meant that the rest of us didn’t get much of a look in when it was their turn.  
  
It was Dean’s turn again.  
  
“Never have I ever… worn women’s clothes!” he said with contempt.   
  
“You utter bastard,” Seamus exclaimed, the cocky grin falling from his face as he blushed furiously.   
  
The room broke out in hysterics as Seamus lifted the glass to his lips. Neville was rolling around on his back, clutching at his sides. Harry was lifting his glasses to wipe at the tears of laughter with his sleeve. I cackled loudly and patted a smirking Dean on the back.  
  
“Don’t know what you’re laughing at, Weasley,” Seamus snapped. “Shouldn’t you be drinking too? We were all there to witness your dress robes in fourth year!”  
  
But Seamus’ desperate attempt to deflect his own humiliation didn’t work this time.  
  
“What was it, Shay?” I chuckled. “Did some girl ask you to parade around in her frilly, pink knickers?” Neville guffawed at the image of Seamus in women’s underwear.   
  
“Ha!” Dean shouted. “He wishes! Wasn’t anything quite as kinky as that, was it, Shay?”  
  
Seamus rolled his eyes.  
  
“Alright. Let’s get this over with. I was eight. My older, female cousin thought it would be funny to dress me like a girl, and put make-up on me. That’s it.”  
  
“Make-up?!” Neville repeated, still lying on his back and gasping for breath. “Oh no, you’ve got to stop. My ribs are starting to hurt from laughing so hard!”  
  
“Okay, my turn!” Seamus announced loudly. “I’m running out of exciting ideas now. Never have I ever… kissed another bloke.” His eyes sparkled mischievously.   
  
“Fuck off, Shay. It’s not even like these things are secret anymore. You’re just picking on me now!”   
  
Seamus had used his position as ‘the best friend’ to his advantage for the entire game, revealing things that Dean had told him in confidence. However, it was widely known to all of us that Dean was gay and had been for a while. Dean picked up yet another drink and swigged it down.   
  
“Come on then, next.”   
  
But before anyone else could speak, Harry lifted his own glass to his lips and poured the contents down his throat before setting the glass back down and staring at it. If we thought we’d been shocked by Neville’s admission of drugs, it was nothing compared to this.   
  
It was silent for the longest time, and I was sure I could hear Harry’s heartbeat from where I was sitting next to him. Or maybe it was mine.   
  
He’d kissed a bloke? And he’d failed to mention it? Who was he? Who knew more about my best mate than I did?  
  
Suddenly, everybody tried to speak at once.  
  
“No!”  
  
“You’ve kissed…”  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me, Potter?”  
  
“…A bloke?”  
  
“Wait. Calm down. Shut the fuck up!” Seamus said, waving his hands at us. He turned back to Harry, who was still gazing at the floor. “Go on then.”  
  
“What?” he asked. Harry looked up and met his eyes for a split second, before turning to stare at his own fingernails instead.  
  
“Spill.”  
  
“I was at a bar. It just happened.” Harry sighed, and continued to look at his hands.   
“Was this, by any chance, a gay bar?” Dean smirked.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“You were at a gay bar?” I asked quietly, and Harry met my eyes for the first time.  
  
“Yeah.” He said, and I noticed his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.  
  
“When was this?”   
  
“A few times.”   
  
“Have you kissed more than one bloke?”   
  
I tried to sound interested, just as interested as the others might be, but I knew that it was something different. Something was rising in me that I couldn’t control. Feelings that I had convinced myself had left me a long time ago were bubbling just under the surface.  
  
“A couple, yeah.” He was still looking at me.   
  
I’d forgotten about the others until I noticed them from the corner of my eye. Their heads moved as one to look at me, wondering what I was going to say next.   
  
I’d have probably been mortified by this conversation at any other time, but I was completely overcome with other emotions that there was no room for embarrassment.   
  
I’d spoken to Dean about my feelings for Harry a year or so ago anyway, so I’m sure he was aware of what was going on inside my head. No doubt he’d told Seamus too, and I didn’t mind; he is his best friend after all. I didn’t know if Neville knew, but he wasn’t as stupid as a lot of people assumed. Although, I hoped I wasn’t so obvious that somebody would have noticed without being told.  
  
As ‘the gay one’, I thought Dean would be able to help. He tried his best to persuade me to tell Harry how I felt, but I was too much of a coward to say anything. Gryffindor, my arse.  
  
Then again, I didn’t think Harry was interested in men, so why would I say anything? And even if he were, why would he be interested in me when he could have his pick of anyone? I couldn’t risk losing him. I’d forced those feelings to the back of my head and kept them there ever since. It wasn’t much of a problem, because Harry didn’t really date, and neither did I.   
  
I’d never had to cope with this feeling of jealousy before when it came to Harry. Not like this. Not like I’d had a chance with him and somebody had snatched it away. It was just there all of a sudden, and I didn’t know how I was supposed to deal with it.   
  
“Have you done… Have you only kissed?”  
  
At this question, he looked away to study his nails again and cleared his throat before responding. That was answer enough for me.   
  
“Once.”  
  
I couldn’t bring myself to ask the next obvious question, and silence hung in the air for a couple of seconds before Dean took over.  
  
“What did you do?”   
  
I cringed as he said it. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know.  
  
“Toilets,” Harry gulped again, and he closed his eyes as he continued. “He sucked me.”  
  
I tried desperately to swallow against my suddenly dry throat. I picked up the shot in front of me. The jealousy simmering below my skin seemed to double. Who was it? Who was worthy enough for my Harry?  
  
“Did you know him?” Dean asked gently, as if he could read my mind. I stared at Harry as he blushed and shook his head quickly.  
  
“Did you like it?” Dean continued, and I saw Seamus shoot him a ‘that’s enough’ look. If Seamus thought he’d gone too far, then he probably had. Dean shook his head and gave me a small smile.  
  
Harry nodded slowly, eyes still closed.  
  
Seamus attempted to break the tension.   
  
“Of course he did. Who wouldn’t like getting their cock sucked? No matter who was doing it.”  
  
“You’d like me to suck you off, Shay?” Dean challenged. Seamus looked uncomfortable for a second and then shrugged. Dean sniggered a bit and rolled his eyes before turning back to Harry.  
  
He leaned across to put his hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry looked up pitifully, as if afraid he was going to be told off.   
  
“Are you gay, Harry?” Dean asked simply.  
  
“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged. He bit his lip and cast a quick glance at me.  
  
“You can tell us,” Neville spoke for the first time since the conversation had begun. “You know we’re not going to judge you, right?”  
  
“I know,” he sighed. “Yes. Yes, I think I’m gay.”  
  
“New game,” Seamus declared. “I dare the two poufs to kiss!”  
  
Before either of them had had a chance to say anything, I heard myself object.  
  
“No!” I shouted, and four heads snapped towards me, searching for an explanation. “I just… I mean, that’s not a dare, is it? They’ve both done it before, no big deal.”  
  
“Well, if you’re suggesting that I kiss someone, you are going to be sorely disappointed, Weasley!”  
  
“I’ll do it,” I said, before I’d even thought about it.  
  
“You’ll do it…” Harry repeated weakly.  
  
“I’ll do it.”  
  
“Okay, Harry and Ron kiss. For at least ten seconds.” Seamus said, excitedly.  
  
“When did this become a sleepover for teenage girls?” Dean asked.  
  
“Since you two decided to become poufs.”  
  
“You’re the one egging them on, Shay,” Dean laughed. “You’re not convincing me that you’re entirely straight yourself.”  
  
Seamus chose to ignore this and told us to get on with it.   
  
I shuffled on my knees so that I was facing Harry. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears, and my head felt foggy at the thought of what we were going to do. Everything around me dissolved so that I only heard Seamus say “go”, very quietly, a split second before Harry’s lips touched mine.  
  
I wasted no time in deepening the kiss. If this was the only chance I was going to have to kiss Harry, I was going to make it one to remember; a kiss that could fuel my wank fantasies for months to come.  
  
I heard Harry gasp as I let my tongue run along his bottom lip. Taking advantage of his open mouth, I slid my tongue inside and stroked it along his. I brought one hand to the back of his head so that I could grasp his hair slightly and stop him from getting away. Not that he was trying to, but just in case. I rested my other hand on his hip, and I felt Harry put his own hand over mine and squeeze it tightly.  
  
After what must have been ten seconds, I heard a voice say somewhere in the background that it was okay to stop. Harry tried to break the kiss but I wouldn’t let him.   
  
Something at the back of my mind was telling me that I was making a fool of myself; that Harry was going to throw me off any second and ask what the hell I was doing. I gripped the back of his neck tighter and crushed my mouth against his harder still, coaxing his tongue into my own mouth. To my surprise, Harry complied.   
I was completely oblivious to everything except the feeling of Harry’s tongue in my mouth, and of his hand clutching the back of my T-shirt, and of his body pressed so close to mine.   
  
After what felt like forever, we broke the kiss. My lips were tingling and I was breathless as I kept my forehead pressed against his, not willing to let him go just yet.   
  
I opened my eyes to see Harry was watching me. He stroked a hand through my hair and I felt a shiver go down my spine.  
  
“Why didn’t… you tell me?” I panted.  
  
“So scared,” he said. “I was scared that you’d hate me, scared that we couldn’t be best friends if you knew.”  
  
“Knew what?” I asked quietly.  
  
“If I told you how I felt about you, and you didn’t feel the same. I didn’t want to lose you.” His voice cracked and I squeezed the hand at the back of his neck to reassure him. He frowned and pulled back a little bit. “You do want me too, don’t you?”  
  
“Harry, I’ve wanted you for a long time,” I chuckled nervously.  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah, ask Dean.”  
  
“You talked to Dean about me? Why didn’t you just tell me?”  
  
“Same reason you never told me,” I said.  
  
“Fucking idiots,” Harry laughed, leaning in to nuzzle my neck. My heart almost stopped when he kissed my jaw and whispered, “I love you, Ron.”  
  
“I love you, too,” I breathed, wrapping my arms around him.   
  
I suddenly realised that the room was (luckily) empty apart from us.  
  
“Where did everybody go?”   
  
Before we had a chance to think about it, a silvery fox Patronus came bounding into the room. It spoke with a strong Irish accent.  
  
“Thought you two might have come up for air by now. We're just sending you this to let you know we pissed off home so that you can sort some stuff out. See you soon, you pair of poufs!”

*~* 


End file.
